is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
