I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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