Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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