So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize