I never want to see another naked old woman again.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
