he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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