he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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