You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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