I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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