so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
