how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
