All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
