90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Randomize
