I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
