I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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