and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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