Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
