thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
