My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
