you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
