Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
