Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
