I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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