As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Acid is not a monday night drug
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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