Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
