Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
