People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
