don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
no you cant smoke seaweed
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize