We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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