Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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