She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Randomize
