Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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