i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
