it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I supernannyed him into submission
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
