come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
