I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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