It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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