you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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