Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
pray to the hookup gods
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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