Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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