we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
