The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
