help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
