16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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