My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
and she was petting her beer can
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
