There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize