right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
then he tried to convert me to islam
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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