have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
