I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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