All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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