ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
