We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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