I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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