You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
