My room smells like vodka and shame
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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