I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
