yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
