Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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