a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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